52 Guitars: Week 41
So what do you think about this Synod document?

Misfiring Neurons

Like pretty much everyone, I suppose, who reaches a certain age, I fear losing my mind to physical deterioration. Call it dementia or Alzheimer's or whatever the applicable medical terminology is, the thing that strikes many old people is a horrible thing. I saw it with my beloved maternal grandmother when I was in my early teens, and was confused, disturbed and a little frightened by it. And a friend of mine is going through it now with her mother, who no longer recognizes her or anyone else, cannot use a knife and fork, has long since ceased to be able to enjoy things like reading which were a huge part of her life, and is often angry or depressed. I understand and wholly accept the Church's teaching against euthanasia and suicide, but I can certainly understand why people who don't have a belief in some kind of transcendent reality which makes suffering meaningful would see no reason why they shouldn't do it in such a terrible situation. And although one cannot approve of action to make it happen, I don't think there's anything wrong with praying for a speedy end to the ordeal.

Anyway: I don't dwell on it, and mostly maintain a combination of "thy will be done" and que sera sera attitudes when the thought presents itself. But I do feel uneasy whenever I have the sort of odd mental lapse that seems to come with normal aging, and worry that it's a sign of bad things to come. The inability to come up with proper names when they're needed, for instance, happens to me often enough, and I notice it in other people my age. That one, I'm told, is nothing to worry about it, though it can be embarrassing.

There's another little phenomenon which may or may not be a normal old age thing, but which strikes me as interesting with respect to the way the mind works. It's the unconscious substitution, when writing, of one word for another. It happened to me a day or two ago as I was composing an email to a friend. I intended to say "I'll say more in another email later." But when I read over the text before sending it, as I have learned to do for just this reason, I found that I had written "I'll say more in another email letter." 

This happens to me regularly. And it's not what we ordinarily mean by a typographical or spelling error. The substituted word is always related to the intended one in spelling, and often in meaning as well. When it's only spelling, like "through" for "though", it's always a real word. And even if the meaning is rather different, as in this example, it often makes sense in the sentence, though not necessarily as much sense as the intended word. 

What makes it so interesting to me is that it is completely unconscious. The discovery of "letter" instead of "later" in this instance was a complete surprise to me, as much as it would have been if someone else had gotten hold of my computer and changed it. It seems to offer a glimpse into the mechanics of communication, which in one's native language are largely unconscious--the extent to which some sort of invisible machinery goes into play when we write or talk. In a rough way, what seems to happen is that my conscious mind has an idea that it intends to communicate, and a rough notion of what words are required, and it calls on this partly-visible mechanism to come up with the specific words and order the fingers to type them. But what the mechanism actually delivers is not exactly what was called for: close, but not exactly. It seems to indicate that the selection of words, or at least the setting-down of them, is partly carried on below the surface of consciousness. Anyone who has any facility for writing at all is familiar with the sense that words, phrases, and whole sentences sometimes simply appear, popping into existence intact and in toto.

Perhaps this particular phenomenon has mainly to do with the mechanism of typing itself. I learned to type, or at least learned the keyboard, when I was in my mid-teens: an odd skill for a teenaged boy in 1964 or so to have acquired, and it happened only because my father was annoyed that my older sister and I appeared to have nothing useful to do one summer, and made us take a night class in typing. Looking back on it, that seems a strange thing for him to have done. But he's not here for me to ask him why he did it, and I've certainly benefited from the fact that typing is as automatic and unconscious an action for me as driving, which I learned around the same time. There is not much conscious thought between my intention for a word to appear on this screen and the motions of my fingers that make it so. (The following year I started working for my uncle on the farm during the summer vacation, which was a lot better than taking a typing class.)

Whether this foreshadows more serious mental failings, I don't know. But I guess I can see how such misfires could spread and accumulate into a serious problem, resulting in more and more difficulty in connecting with one's surroundings. I wouldn't mind hearing that someone under 55 or so experiences the same thing sometimes. If I did it when I was much younger, I don't remember--which could just be another symptom of age.

And now I've sort of spooked myself about the whole thing. 

Comments

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I make phonetic typos too!

I'm glad to here it.

I do it with "sayings" or colloquialisms or catch-phrases. I don't quite get them right. I substitute similar words. My kids find it amusing. It makes me mad precisely because I don't think I used to make that kind of mistake.

I'm 55. I think. Yeah. I just double-checked. I am 55.

Oh heavens, sometimes I amaze myself.

AMDG

I do a dyslexic thing, swapping the syllables of words or thomesing, when I'm tired. But that's been going on for a long time and hasn't gotten worse since I hit 60-ish.

When I'm tired and even sometimes when I am not I do the dyslexic thing.

I'm pretty sure other weird things go on in my brain of a similar nature but I'm too tired to think of any!

My mother's been confusing people's names since she was about 35 at least. I remember once reading someone condemning large families on the grounds that if you've got so many siblings that your parents never remember your name this is going to be very hurtful and make you feel unloved etc., which amused me as my mother had 2 kids and sometimes needed 3 tries to get my name right. (As to whether this had any bad effects, well, give me a time machine and an ability to do controlled experiments across a million different parallel timelines and I'll get back to you, but I don't think it did.) Now I'm 35 and her frequent inability to think of the correct noun for the occasion is starting to creep up on me too.

Phonetic substitution also happens to me, and I think to a lot of people, especially if they're in a hurry.

I think that my typing miscues are mainly a result of typographical error. But the missing word syndrome is something I've noticed since my late 20s (now in late 40s) and it does worry me. As far as I know there is only one case of dementia in my family; but of course there are many many family members I never met or heard too much about. But yes, Mac, this is something we all worry about. It might be snotty of me to think that those of us who spend a lot of our life reading, writing, studying worry about it more than those sitting and watching reality TV every night. The Survivor folks may have the same worries.

I think I've got this figured out, and it's rather horrifying. Auto-correct has downloaded software into our brains.

AMDG

That is a horrible thought.

You may have a point about people who live more by and/or in their brains worrying more about it, El G. But then brain problems generally include physical incapacity, too.

My wife does that with the children's names, too, I think more than I do. And it certainly does not indicate any lack of care for them whatsoever. I remember hearing her father run through the whole series of four names when addressing one of his children before hitting the right one, so maybe it's partly a natural tendency.

"...give me a time machine and an ability to do controlled experiments across a million different parallel timelines..."

I often think of things like that, and the general impossibility of knowing what might have been. Sometimes it's almost impossible even to think about it, because so many possible variants come into play as soon as you change one.

However, I feel fairly safe in saying that, as you suspect, you were not seriously harmed by your mother sometimes calling you by the wrong name.

I always call my children, the girls anyway, by the name of the next oldest child. This is a tradition that I have continued with my grandchildren. It is at least consistent (boy, it took me a long time to find consistent--this is what bothers me most) so that Rebecca knows when I say Rachel I mean Becca.

AMDG

"I remember once reading someone condemning large families on the grounds that if you've got so many siblings that your parents never remember your name this is going to be very hurtful and make you feel unloved etc., which amused me as my mother had 2 kids and sometimes needed 3 tries to get my name right."

One of our friends, Chris, has a younger sister called Kate. There are only the two of them. The poor girl was often called Krate as the poor mother mixed up the names. :/

I have been known to say to the kids (especially in a moment of stress) "Get the thing off the thing and put it on the... thing." Pointing assists a lot. :)

My grandmother called me NorJenLou (Nor and Jen being her daughters) and called my brother BonnyBrianStef (Bonny being my grandfather and Brian being their son). She also used to called us, "monsters" and "little heathens" as terms of endearment. :) I thought all of it was hilarious. Perhaps my brother has been traumatised for life, but I doubt it.

BonnyBrianStef sounds like somebody in a ballad.

AMDG

It REALLY helps to have a nickname for your kids. You are far less likely to make a mistake. For instance, I call my daughter, Angela, "Angelo." I often call my boys "shorty," even though neither of them is short. In fact, Anthony is quite tall.

My grandfather had a nickname for everyone. I was "Filibuster." My sister was "Carlos," because he thought she looked somewhat Hispanic. My other sister was "Tucker" because she and her cousin were born at about the same time, so he called them "Nipper" and "Tucker."

Filibuster-all is revealed.

AMDG

Nicknames that stick forever are a very southern thing. "Nipper" and "Tucker" are pretty funny.

Yeah, it makes you wish one of your kids would have twins.

AMDG

I've caught myself substituting words in emails several times recently. I'm only in my mid-40s.

Yes, but you are an old soul.

AMDG

I'm wondering if "multitasking" is the big culprit here, especially for folks with a family to run. In addition to the tension and tiredness that just naturally go with that state, of course.

My mother always used to say it was because she was "trying to do two things at once" that something got screwed up.

I'm sure it has an effect on me, although I don't think it's the major thing. I don't have a family to run but I do have a mentally demanding job.

"BonnyBrianStef sounds like somebody in a ballad."

Hmmm. Interesting thought!

Yes, now that I think about it, I'm less likely to get their nicknames mixed up.

"I'm wondering if "multitasking" is the big culprit here, especially for folks with a family to run. In addition to the tension and tiredness that just naturally go with that state, of course."

For sure! And yes, Maclin's mentally demanding job would undoubtedly have a similar effect. It can be hard to focus on just one train of thought at a time.

Maclin, it will be interesting to see if some of that improves when you retire and can at least think in a more leisurely manner.

I missed the "BonnyBrianStef" comment earlier. It does sound like the name of someone in an old ballad.

"Get the thing off the thing and put it on the... thing."

My mother has always done that. That sentence sounds just like her.

When my sister was a chubby, placid baby and I was a lively toddler, we were known as Buddha and Pest. I am glad those didn't stick.

Oh my.Me too. I had so many names for my kids that I don't remember them all.

AMDG

Coïncidentally, I went to Budapest on saturday. (I'll stick up my pictures when I can find a USB stick.)

"Auto-correct has downloaded software into our brains."

Perhaps on some level our minds are starting to imitate computers as a result of over-exposure to technology, not to mention indoctrination with the kind of materialism that sees our brains as biological computers wired for certain tasks, which is bound to have an effect. Human beings are very suggestible. Besides, we all take after our parents, and if you can see the Earth as a mother figure you can certainly see the internet as perhaps a foster-mother, sprung full-grown from the head of Al Gore, nerdiest of the Titans who strode the Earth of old.

I'm not sure why I've never known you had that blog, but I really like your pictures.

As for the Al Gore theory, better just shudder and get to work.

AMDG

There is a trope that goes around that says that women communicate with each other by using pronouns, intuitively knowing what the antecedents are, which confuses the heck out of men. I've experienced this in my household.

"Will you hand that to me?" What "that"?

Where is it? "There." Without pointing or any other indication.

Or, this is one I like. Where is it? "It is in the cupboard." Like, there are 14 cupboards in the kitchen.

I'm sure my wife thinks I'm psychic, or at least should be, no matter how often I tell her I'm not a mind reader.

"Buddha and Pest"--very funny.

The pronoun thing is real. I noticed it a long time ago. At first I thought it was just my wife, then I started noticing it in other women. And I think C.S. Lewis remarks on it somewhere. We discussed this here once some years ago, and someone, I think it was Grumpy, said that women communicate by "osmotic suggestion," or something like that...had the word "osmotic" in it, anyway.

Yeah, I vaguely remember that discussion here, but my memory ain't what it used to be.

heh

Re the mind and computers, godescalc, I think it's more a matter of how we see ourselves. Computers have a mind-like quality, and we start thinking of our minds as working similarly, even those of us who think the analogy is limited at best.

However, internet as foster-mother does not compute.:-)

This is all very amusing. :)

Buddha and Pest is hilarious.

I think I counted 12 nicknames my mother had for me. She still uses some. We have several for our children in general and at least a couple for each child. And they all have their own special song which we made up.

Each of our kids has his own planet. I'm not kidding.

Sounds interesting. How does that work?

The songs sound like a nice thing, Louise. At least until the children are adolescents--I can imagine teenagers not wanting any part of that.

It's kind of a cultural tendency in the South for fathers to give their daughters nicknames. I did it with mine, not consciously at all. They did not care for the names, so I quit using them, but unfortunately their siblings sometimes still bring them up, and it's most unwelcome.

You asked for reassurance: I am 22, and I do the word-replacement thing, whether I'm talking or writing.

As I said to Grumpy's first comment way above, I'm glad to here it. :-)

Hehehe.

"The songs sound like a nice thing, Louise. At least until the children are adolescents--I can imagine teenagers not wanting any part of that."

Yes, the older ones don't have much patience with it and it should go without saying that - unless we are teasing them - we don't sing those songs to them. It won't stop me singing them behind their backs though. :)

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